Shatter
by Nightcrawler's Shadow
Summary: Companion piece to 'Masks' He hides everything so well, but does he want to?


Disclaimer: I don't own XME

A/N: Here's a companion piece to 'Masks', hope you enjoy. I know I loved writing it.

A/N2: YAY! I have reached the twenty review mark on 'Tortured Shadows' in honor of that I decided to put this up.

SHATTER SHATTER SHATTER SHATTER SHATTER SHATTER SHATTER SHATTER SHATTER SHATTER

I watched her, every day, every minute, never was she out of my mind.

I protect her, even if she doesn't know it.

I stand up for her, even if she doesn't know it.

I'd kill for her…she doesn't know it.

_-Kurt Wagner for Kitty Pryde_

My whole life I was persecuted for something I couldn't control.

The same is said for everyone at the Institute, we're all hated for what we are.

It's not like when we're born we can say "Okay, I want to mock people who are different." And be human, or," I want to have angst be a part of my ever day life." And be a mutant.

It doesn't work like that.

People don't seem to realize what we go through in our lives.

Weird quirks in our powers like being able to climb walls and ceilings or how about having metal claws that rip through your skin every time you use them but that skin fixes itself nearly instantly, and let's not forget being able to read people's thoughts or sucking their very lives from them.

Our lives aren't like the humans; we wake up and see our crush walking through a wall, or our instructor spearing an apple with an adamantium claw.

How about our friend's girlfriend levitating a mirror as she brushes her hair?

This is normal for _us_, to anyone else; they'd feel like they stepped into a mad house.

That's quite possible actually.

Every one of the X Men is tormented by something.

Logan, by nightmares of a past he doesn't remember.

Kitty, falling through the Earth and suffocating by not being able to control her abilities.

Rogue, the never leaving voices of the people she's touched.

Scott, the death of his family.

Hank, being taken over by his own mutation.

The Professor, losing all of us to the world's cruelties.

Ororo, having freedom taken from us.

Evan, losing the only people he's ever really felt are his family.

Me…I have many fears. One of them is being discovered to be a mutant. Being chased by an angry mob complete with torches and pitchforks is also up there.

Losing Katzchen…that's number one.

I'm constantly hiding who I really am from the world.

Constantly running from my fears and everything that comes with them.

Is it so much to ask to be myself?

So much to ask to have people look at me like they look at anyone else?

Or maybe have someone see how much I tear myself apart with my fears…

Sure, I put on a good show.

The eternal optimist.

The joker and prankster.

The contortionist and acrobat…

The demon and curse.

The devil and the nightmare…

The human and the mutant.

I just want people to see me.

Not the act I put on or the hologram I wear!

I'm too good of an actor.

It doesn't matter that my shell cracks sometimes, I can fix it in several seconds.

But nights like tonight, I have to wonder…

_Do_ people notice?

A loud crack from behind me makes me turn, a growl resting in my throat.

Kitty's standing there.

"Hey Kurt."

I struggle to bring up my cloak, hiding my tossing thoughts, but for some reason, I'm failing.

I want to throw myself in her arms, sob into her shoulder and scream about how it isn't fair.

I can't do that though, I can't let her know anything's wrong.

So why is she out here, and following me no less?

"Just another midnight stroll?"

_Midnight stroll_…she knows more than I thought.

I can try and hide for a bit longer though.

"Ja, I couldn't sleep." My normal excuse for being out and about around the weirdest hours of the night and morning.

She walks forward, emotions warring in her eyes; sadness, empathy, sympathy, love; they're all there.

Her small hand takes hold of mine and she pulls me behind her.

A small smile is playing on her lips.

She releases my hand and lies on the grass, the moon lighting up the garden like some fantastic dream of heaven.

And Kitty is the angel.

She's dressed in a log white nightdress that flows around her and is currently spread around her as she looks up to the starry sky.

I lay beside her, my shoulder grazing hers.

"You want to talk about it?"

She knows, for how long I don't know, but she does.

Relief spreads through me faster than I thought possible.

Of everyone, she's been the one to see through my act.

But I don't want to break this moment.

Knowing she's there is enough for now.

I touch my lips to her forehead and her smile is lovely.

I doubt any angel could compete with her.

"Maybe later." A small nod returns my words.

And I know she understands.

My little Katzchen…

She has such a big heart.

She loves me, that's what I know now.

I didn't think it possible for someone so amazingly beautiful could love someone like me.

Apparently, God has a different plan than the one I imagined.

He's going to give me love in my life.

I didn't think it possible, but as Kitty settles her head over my heart and I wrap my arms around her…

I know it is.


End file.
